Talking about PrEP while dating
Letting partners know that you’re on PrEP can provide them with peace of mind, as it means you’re protected against HIV and regularly getting tested for STIs. However, PrEP does not protect against other sexually transmitted infections (STIs), so additional protective measures are recommended. PrEP can also have a risk of reduced kidney function and bone density, but this risk is low. A recent study of 14,000 PrEP patients found 0.9% had these problems.
Many dating and hookup apps, such as Grindr, allow you to include information on your profile such as your HIV status and last tested date. Some apps will allow you to select “Negative, on PrEP” as your visible HIV status, so you can easily let potential partners know you’re being proactive about preventing HIV — great for you and for them.
One of the pros of being on PrEP is that you don’t have to worry about someone else’s HIV status. Even if you meet someone who has detectable HIV, you can connect with them – PrEP will keep you protected.
Don’t forget that while PrEP protects you from HIV, it doesn’t prevent other STIs such as chlamydia and gonorrhea. The best way to prevent STIs is to use condoms in tandem with taking PrEP. Another option is DoxyPEP, which is a medication you can take after condomless sex to reduce the risk of STI transmission.
DoxyPEP can cause temporary digestive issues like nausea, but taking it with food can help. Some researchers have also cautioned that using doxycycline for DoxyPEP may increase the risk of antibiotic resistance, particularly when used inconsistently. Public health units are carefully considering these risks alongside the benefits of reducing STI transmission. At the time of writing, DoxyPEP has been formally endorsed by America's Centers for Disease Control and Prevention. The Public Health Agency of Canada is currently conducting its review.
Remember, your health and safety should always come first. If you don’t know a new partner’s STI status, make sure to ask before you have sex. While conversations about STIs and sexual health with new partners can often feel awkward or scary, it’s important to have all the information you need to make informed decisions about your sex life. Plus, it signals to partners that you take sexual health seriously.
Here are some common questions you might be asked when you let people know you’re on PrEP, and how you can respond:
- Q: “What is PrEP?”
A: “It’s a pill I take once a day to prevent HIV.”
- Q: “Why do you take PrEP?”
A: “Since I take PrEP, I don’t have to stress about getting HIV!”
- Q: “Should I take PrEP, too?”
A: “If you want another way to prevent HIV, then yes!”
- Q: “How do you get PrEP?”
A: “There are online services like Freddie that let you get PrEP delivered discreetly at home — often for free! You can also talk to your doctor or a sexual health clinic about starting PrEP, too.”
- Q: “Since you’re on PrEP, we don’t have to use condoms… right?”
A: “PrEP only prevents HIV, so if we want to prevent STIs using condoms is a good idea!”
Learn more: Grindr 101: 11 Tips for Staying Safe on Grindr
Talking to your HIV+ partner about PrEP
One common question we hear is: “Should I take PrEP if my partner is HIV+?”
To be clear, if your partner is HIV+ but is on effective treatment and has an undetectable viral load, you don’t need to take PrEP to prevent HIV transmission from them. That’s because people who are HIV+ but have an undetectable viral load cannot transmit HIV to others.
However, if you have an HIV+ partner that does have a detectable viral load, PrEP may be a good option for you.
If you have — or are considering having — other partners outside that relationship, be sure to talk to your partner about what safer sex practices work best for you.
Learn more: HIV 101: What To Know About Having an HIV+ Partner
The power of PrEP knowledge
While PrEP has become much more popular and accessible in recent years, many people still lack information about what PrEP is, how effective it is at preventing HIV, and how to get it. Many patients who get PrEP from Freddie first hear about Freddie or PrEP itself from a friend or partner. While you should always be as discreet as you want to be, if you feel comfortable talking to others about PrEP, it can make a huge difference!
Know someone that wants to start PrEP, or is looking for more info? Share our PrEP Explained page with them to help them make more informed decisions about their sexual health.
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